Or would that be an introverted extrovert? This month’s From Left to Write book club pick is “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain. I knew before I started reading “Quiet” that I am an introvert. Fo’ sho. And just to see what my husband would say, I asked him if he thought I was an introvert or an extrovert. And then I was kind of amazed that he was waffling and started to say “…well…” I thought it was so cut and dry.
Marc thinks I’m an extrovert(ish) because I “put myself out there”. Because I am not (that) afraid to go to new places and meet new people, like blogger events or Meetup group playdates. So yes, I guess I have moments of extroversion, but ultimately I would say that I’m an introvert through and through.
While reading this book, there were various questions to help one assess whether or not he/she is an introvert. As I was reading the questions, almost all of them had me answering “yes” in a loud, monotone, Napoleon Dynamite-ish way. There was one that stuck out, it was something along the lines of “do you enjoy being in the company of friends, but find that you need alone time afterwards to recover?” (loose paraphrase, I’m too lazy to go upstairs and get the book off my dresser). Not only would I say yes, but I have to add my own:
“Do you have a general sense of dread when thinking about hanging out with your friends and not want to call them or make plans to get together? Does sitting on the couch with the computer in your lap, your iPhone in your hand, playing Scramble with Friends with your husband who is sitting 2 feet away from you sound more appealing than happy hour with your mom friends? YES?! Then you my friend, are not just an introvert, you have crippling social anxiety!“ ding, ding, ding!!!
I don’t know why that is. I really love seeing my friends. I like hanging out with other girls, drinking wine, playing games, complaining about other people, and all the usual stuff girls do. But something about committing and making plans gives me tension. After I hang out, though, I think “that was so fun!!! I must do this again!! Soon!!!” And then the cycle repeats.
So in a lot of ways I’m kind of a bad friend. I don’t realize that a lot of time has elapsed between communications until things get awkward. I often say that my friends have to be really hardy. They know that I might forget to respond to their text AND their facebook message, but that I really do adore them and mean to respond to them and eventually will. Thank God for these people that still like me!
And thank God for Marc being such an extrovert. While I read this book, it was so funny to realize just how introverted he is not. He thrives on constant communication with people, going places, competing in his career as a salesman. I guess that’s why we are a good pair. 
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Author Susan Cain explores how introverts can be powerful in a world where being an extrovert is highly valued. Join From Left to Write on January 19 as we discuss Quiet: The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain. We’ll also be chatting live with Susan Cain at 9PM Eastern on January 26. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
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i know exactly what you mean–i just got off the phone with my sister and i had to make myself call her. it is just hard for me to make contact with people, even though i always enjoy it once i do…
Bay Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Glad to hear I’m not the only one! I don’t know why my brain doesn’t register the whole “you’ll be glad you did this” thing.
I might have crippling social anxiety myself! If you’re ever looking for another Words with Friends player, my “name” is iloveverbs. The only reason I don’t play with my husband sitting two feet away on the couch is because he hates scrabble!
Best,
Melissa
Bay Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 12:00 am
I’m so bad at starting games (ha!) but I’m always looking for more players. My user name is baystay
I love that you and your husband are total opposites! My husband is an introvert and I’m an “ambivert”…a fence sitter, but I lean to extroverted. It takes all kinds
I enjoyed your post!
Bay Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 12:02 am
Thanks!! I think most of us are probably ambiverts just skewed a little more one way or the other. There’s gotta be more “introverts” than the author makes it seem.
You just described me. I love, love, love my friends, but actually making plans makes me woozy with anxiety. And people think I’m social.
Bay Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 12:04 am
You must put up a good front! I think people quickly realize how un-social I am
Wait, what?! This is not coming from the same mouth that forced me to turn around in my seat at the SV moms event in NYC!! This is not comin from the same girl who traipsed all over town with me to find a taxi. Introvert? Hardly.
I know what you mean, though. I’m exactly the same!
Oh, and P.S. you are coming to Bloggy Boot Camp in May, yes? I need back up for when I lose consciousness.
Bay Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 12:08 am
Hailing a cab requires very little talking
. But yea, sometimes I can be more social than others; glad to hear you “get” me! I am going to try to make it…it’s too close to pass up, I think!
My husband is similar to you. He hates calling people on the phone, even his mother! He’d just rather hang out at home and watch tv.
I tested as an ambivert. I always figured I was an introvert who learned to be an extravert, but it actually made more sense to realize I could be both. Sometimes, I adore being social– and sometimes, I don’t want anything to do with other people. (;